don't let me get me

I know that you think I'm doing OK
that the remotest possibility of me having problems
would pale in comparison to everyone else.
I know you think I have things under control
everything's smoothly in line
with only the slightest chance of amiss -
that's only because I make it look so
because I'm the best at pretending
I'm that good at lying
and
no one knows.

You'll only ever see me cry in a blue moon
and you still wouldn't come close to the truth
because I won't let you.
But this is damaging. This is abuse to the maximum
and I'm a hazard to myself
because I'm in desperate need
desperate need of serious help.
And I've too much pride to open up
and let the world know
I feel so alone
I feel this lost
I feel like I've gone and murdered every ounce of
self-control, that I ever had in possession
Are you listening?
I didn't think so.

I've been sweetening my lies with kilos of fallacies
that all you would ever know of me
are shadows
and that's saying something.

Please take me away from myself
I'm all closed up
I need to be bare naked
I need to be cleansed
Please don't leave me here
with no defense from myself
I will die and
not know it
because I'm too good at pretending
I live an illusion of false visions and ideas
and my mask is too thick to scrub out
so take me away
take me away from myself
and don't let me get me
don't let me get me
ever again.