Bitching

It wasn't supposed to happen like this. But now that the flood gate has burst, he didn't know how to stop it, or retracted it back in. He supposed hindsight is always twenty-twenty, but being reminded of that in the middle of this...breakdown was not something he needed right now. Everywhere he searched in vain though, the exits they were not.

Sometimes, he thought he could be a real idiot. And other times, he could be real smart, because he was real lucky. He wouldn't kid himself or anyone that he was a genuinely awesomely clever guy. So why couldn't now be one of those times that he was lucky? Did life always choose whether to hand you apples or oranges? Is it only the blessed few that had the ability to pick? If yes, did that mean he wasn't one of the blessed few? And if another yes, why the fuck was it that he wasn't included in the list of the blessed few? Is this fair?

He knew he could keep on bitching like this for another hour. And another hour. And another, until maybe, it had been a day or a week, and he was spent. Yet that didn't seem to be too good of a prospect. The thought of agonizing over something he knew is useless didn't look appetizing. He had known of this always, and so though the thought now does not in any way come as a surprise, it served as some sort of welcome. Whether a pleasant or an unwanted one, he isn't really able to say.

For now.

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*** random doodles. While waiting to be picked up.

Happy Endings

Paige didn't answer nor could she look at him. His words sounded so good, but it wasn't enough. He didn't lie to her with false promises, but he didn't give her that guarantee she needed but knew didn't exist.

Feeling the distance between them, Wyatt slowly felt himself losing grip on his hope for things to work out between them. The more he saw Paige running from him, the more he felt he couldn't keep running after her. Love wasn't about one side constantly fighting for the other. She had to be able to risk it for him too.

------

It wasn't until three nights ago Paige was able to corner him in a club where the boys' were throwing a birthday party for one of their girlfriends. Paige saw Wyatt going to the restroom and she quickly followed him, staking out by the door until he came out.

When he did, Wyatt eyes widened, but his expression quickly turned dark and he tried to excuse himself. Paige grabbed his arm and he stopped.

"Wyatt, how long are we going to be like this?"

Wyatt turned around and Paige couldn't help but take a step back from him. He looked so closed off from her, so devoid of emotion and of any recognition of her.

"Like what?" He asked simply as if not knowing what she meant. But she could tell by the tense way he stood that he was working hard to stay in control and calm.

"When can we be friends again?" Paige asked him. Yet, the moment she asked the question, she already knew his answer.

For a few seconds, the stoic façade crumbled and Wyatt allowed his frustration to show. His shoulders slumped for that moment before quickly straightening again.

"When I can finally learn to love you without being in love with you."

And then he walked away, leaving Paige to feel as if he was leaving her for good.

-----

Paige began to walk down the room, glancing at the pictures, remembering each moment when Wyatt gave them for her. As everybody else took their time to read the description and examine the pictures, Paige kept walking. She knew everything by heart, each speech Wyatt gave her about why the picture was important. Even without reading the brochure, she knew… No, within her, she felt what it was he was trying to say.

Happy endings.

The exhibit was arranged in which the photographs and wall spiraled to end in the middle. Paige must have gone through the exhibit quickly because suddenly she was at the end, with no one around her. The middle of the room had one wall and was closed in by white screens that were filled with flowers and vines. Before the photograph was a little white block that served as a bench.

Paige took in the screens, the flowers, and the bench before lifting her eyes to meet the photograph. When her eyes finally saw the last photograph, Paige took a deep breath and held it.

It was their picture, the one he forced her to take so long ago. They were on her couch. Wyatt's cheek was against her head, grinning happily with Paige smiling as well, despite showing hints of irritation. You could tell from the picture Wyatt was taking the picture of them.

It was a moment, just a moment between the two of them. But it was just the two of them, together.

Paige didn't realize it, but she was silently sobbing. Her hand reached out to touch their photograph, and despite how her vision was blurring, she could read the little inscription below the photograph.

My Happy Ending.

"So what do you think?" A voice came from behind her.

Paige turned around, and there was Wyatt, dressed in a dark pants and a white dress shirt. His hair looked as if he was running his fingers through it a few too many times. His lips tilted up on one side, and he gave her his signature smirk.

"I love it," Paige whispered. I love you.

Wyatt didn't say anything else, not asking about her appearance, about her tears, or why she was even there. He just stood there, not closing the small distance between them, and waited. Paige knew that it was up to her to take the step…

So she did. She took a step towards him and said, "I'm an idiot. I realized just how much of an idiot I was today."

Another step. All her thoughts became jumbled and the words kept pouring out of her mouth.

"All my life, all I could see was the bad. I could only see the ugly when it came to love and I just believed that being with people only caused heartache and it wasn't worth it. So I stayed alone."

One step. Two step.

"But then I met you. And you made the ugly bearable," Paige said. She felt herself beginning to smile. "And suddenly I didn't see just the ugly. I saw the good. I saw the laughs, the fun, the friendship… The love."

She took one more step and then she was before him. Wyatt stood still, watching her intently. He made no move to touch her and Paige didn't as well.

"I didn't believe that love could last," Paige whispered. "I didn't want to risk it because I didn't want to lose you. Because, Wyatt, you're not worth losing."

Slowly she raised her hand that held the picture she took and showed him the picture of the elderly man and woman holding hands as they walked down a path.

"But then I saw them," Paige continued. "And I just knew… I want this. I want the chance to hold your hand when we're old, to help you up a path, and to forever walk with you wherever you want to go so you can take whatever pictures you want to take. Because as much as I'm afraid to lose you Wyatt… The chance to have this happy ending with you… It's worth the risk."

The smile on Wyatt's face was slowly widening with teach word she said. He glanced at her then at the picture then at her again. Slowly, his hand reached up and cupped her face. His thumb wiped away a falling tear and Wyatt leaned in. With his lips only a breath away from hers, he whispered, "There's still no guarantee for us you know."

Paige nodded, her eyes dropping to his lips. "I know," she answered, looking up into his eyes. "But I think we got a good chance… Because, believe it or not, I really love you, flaws and all."

"Ditto," Wyatt whispered back before finally leaning in and kissing her.

And so there they stood before their picture, ignoring the slow trickle of people coming in to look at the end of the exhibit, only caring that somehow, they got to that moment.

She would always be the girl with her fears and he would always be the boy who was the optimist. And despite having the odds against them, they just had to look at their picture and believe that they'll get their happy ending…

Because, in the end, you just have to have faith.

***
excerpts from "Happy Endings" by jennycraig10

Truly one of the best fucking one-shots I've had the pleasure of reading in a long time. A million kudos to Jenny.

Don't Look At Me, I Didn't Do It

She couldn't figure out why the nagging feeling in the bottom of her stomach won't go away. Something seemed missing. Like there was a big gaping hole somewhere. It'd be great if only she could find out what it is exactly that is bugging her. Ransacking the brain, as she has now come to realize, doesn't really do much if the thing one was looking for simply refused to be found - as if insistent on playing hide-and-seek with the seeker who does not want to sought the hiding because of the want that the hiding would just simply come out in the open. It would, you know - making things sure a hell of a damn lot easier. Wow that's two curse words there. But what the heck.

One thing she knows for sure: somebody stole something from her. Something valuable. Something important. Something priceless. Something...she definitely wants, and in case it's not already clear to you guys, something she definitely needs.

All I gotta tell you is, don't look at me. I didn't do it.

***
Weird, random mutterings in the middle of my work break. So sue me.