He's Pretty and He Knows It - the bastard

There's this guy I know - whom I've never really conversed with aside from the required exchange of questions and answers involved if I want to get my drink - who is really pretty.

Like, cute pretty.

From another angle, real masculine chiseled good-looks: great jaw, great bone structure, flirty sharp, cheeky eyes, and lips that make you think dirty thoughts.

Did I mention that he's tall?

I can't remember the last time I was so thrown off by a guy.

And the most unnerving thing about this is, he knows it. The curve of his lips is just so, and the way he asks these questions is just so, and the twinkle in his eyes make it just so. Nerve-wrecking bastard.

Still, he is pretty. *sigh*

by: shy

Trying

Could you let down your hair
And be transparent for a while
Just a little while
See if you're human after all
Honesty is a hard attribute to find
When we all want to seem like we've got it all figured out
I may be the first to say that I don't have a clue
I don't have all the answers
And God I pretend like I do just
Trying to find my way
Trying to find my way the best that I know how

by: Lifehouse

The Most Wonderful

Ally woke up to the quiet sound of Trent saying her name. She opened her eyes to find him looking down at her, silhouetted by the sunlight pouring into the room.

"Morning, beautiful," he said, kissing her forehead softly.

"What time is it?"

"8:30."

Ally groaned and squeezed her eyes closed. "Why'd you wake me up?"

"Because," he began, grabbing her arms and pulling her up. "I want to show you something."

"Can't it wait?"

"Nope."

Ally let out a whimper and slid out of bed, wrapping a blanket tightly around herself. She looked up at Trent to find him standing right in front of her. With a smile, he put a hand over her eyes.

"I couldn't let you miss this," Trent whispered into her ear, slowly walking her across the room.

Ally tensed up as they stepped outside and the cold air kissed her bare shoulders. The wood beneath her bare feet was also cold, leading her to believe that they were on a dock or balcony of some sort.

"You're going to love this," Trent said, stopping her. He put an arm around her and held her tightly against him. "Ready?" But he didn't wait for her to answer; he just pulled his hand away from her eyes.

Ally's breath stilled in her lungs when she saw the gorgeous sight in front of her. It was a gorgeous lake – the color of aquamarine – that was surrounded by pine trees and snowy mountains. "Wow," Ally breathed. "It's... beautiful."

Trent rested his chin on her shoulder and stared out at the lake with her. "We came here a lot when I was a kid."

"Where are we?"

"Lake Tahoe."

"Is this the house he left you?"

"Uh huh."

"It's so beautiful here."

"I know. It's strangely addicting too."

Ally kissed him on the cheek. "I wouldn't mind coming back."

"If that's what you want then that's what we'll do."

"I love that you do what I say," Ally giggled quietly.

"I aim to please."

full credits to Vanderhall in "The Sophomore Season"

It's All Too Familiar

Trent rolled his eyes, deciding that nothing he said would make any difference. He knew from far too much experience that David was nothing more than a parasite; he would simply feed off your energy until he'd run you into the ground. Trent would not let the stupid jackass win.

by: Vanderhall in "The Sophomore Season"

I can definitely relate to that.

Keep Me Caged and I'll Break Free

Abuse a person's body and they will suffer but still be alive.
Abuse a person's mind and they will one day end up useless and yet still alive.
But abuse a person's spirit and they will breathe still but not live, for in truth they will have died.- H.A.

The In Crowd

I just found out that John Hampson of Nine Days - who to this day remains one of my favourite vocalists and song writer, has a solo project of his own. Am currently digging his song "The In Crowd", the lyrics of which I post below:

Spin away the combination for the last time
Say goodbye to this year
Wish I had a way to avoid the empty summer that awaits me
They'll drink and make a toast
Celebrating their new freedom
I'll sit alone on the couch
Coming undone

My girlfriends a remote control cause I
Can turn her on for hours at a time
and I don't think I've ever known a life
That i was part of the in crowd

Turn around another day another disgrace
Fall flat on my face
I wish I had a freakin license
Get a car and head out west
They'll smoke and burn it down
Rocking out with their new freedom
I'll sit alone on the couch
Coming undone

My girlfriends a remote control cause I
I have become emotionally paralyzed
And I don't think I've ever known a life
That I was part of the in crowd

Doesn't anyone hear the sound of my voice?
I'm talking so loud so noone has a choice
If I keep you near I'm such a satellite boy
And I'll disappear into a blue light void

Spin away the combination for the last time
Say goodbye to last year
Wish I had a way to avoid the empty summer that awaits me
They'll drink and make a toast
Celebrating new freedoms
I'll sit alone on the couch
Watching TV

My best friend has a perfect life and I
Live vicariously through the magic eye
And I know that I've never known a life
Where everyones got perfect teeth and hair
Selling everything from sex to underwear
I wonder what its like to have it all
To be a part of the in crowd

Put your head on my shoulder - I can carry you

Her heart felt like it had run an olympic marathon. It always does - whenever he's around. Never the steady beating as is normal, his presence always ensured to make it so. But she didn't care if he knew. He probably already did. And she didn't care that it made her unstable. This is one of those small matters she'd gladly bear. But what she couldn't take is the way they now stood, and the way he refuses to look at her.

How did it ever come to this? She desperately wanted to know.

Not knowing whether she will regret what she is about to do, but figuring she didn't have anything to lose - she took that last step and stood right before him.

Slowly, carefully, she placed her palms on his cheeks and forced him to look into her eyes. Letting him see the truth. Finally.

by: *sil-enigma

***A little vignette, a continuation of the last time I posted something random like this. Didn't turn out too bad I think, but definitely needs work.

Believe in What You Want

Well don't bother going through, your motions
Nothing that makes sense ever works out
And don't kid yourself you know, they want money
...
Spinning and spinning, do you believe in what you want?
Dancing in plastic shapes of snow
Do you believe in what you want?

Put your trust in simple lust
Make your fliers and get them up all over town
But don't kid yourself you know, it's for money
...

Spinning and spinning, do you believe in what you want?

***Disclaimer: "Believe in What You Want" by Jimmy Eat World

While

It's been a while since we last talked
It's been a while since we last met
and it's been a while since you really listened
I know you feel like you don't know me anymore

It's been a while since we last shared thoughts
or exchanged verbal sparring like there's no tomorrow
I know I feel like there's nothing to talk of anymore

and it'll be sometime
before we'll get our bearing and have the nerve
to face it all off
and it'll be sometime
before we get this all out

If I am

"If I am" by Nine Days is my favourite song for all time. I love John Hampson's vocals...the way he weaves his lyrics...so flawless. I can't ever get tired of hearing this song.

My brother asked me one day while we were listening to it in the car - how I'd feel if a guy sang it to me. Right now I can't remember what I said in answer exactly, but I know that it's the message behind the song that'd truly pull me in.

I post the lyrics below so you'll understand why.

So you're standin on the ledge
It looks like you might fall
Its so far down
Or maybe you were thinkin about jumpin
Now you could have it all
If you learned a little patience
For though I cannot fly
I'm not content to crawl
So give me a little credit
Have in me a little faith
I wanna be with you forever
If tomorrow's not too late
But its always too late when you got nothin
So you say
You should never let the sun set on tomorrow
Before the sun rises today

If I am
Another waste of everything you dreamed of
I will let you down
If I am
Only here to watch you as you suffer
I will let you down

So you're walkin on the edge
And you wait your turn to fall
But you're so far gone
That you don't see the hands upheld to catch you
And you could find the fault
In the heart that you've been handed
For though you cannot fly
You're not content to crawl
And its always too late when you got nothin
So you say
But we should never let the sun set on tomorrow
Before the sun rises

If I am
Another waste of everything you hoped for
I will let you down
If I am
Only here to watch you as you suffer
I will let you down

So you're standin on the ledge
It looks like you might fall

If I am
Another waste of everything you dreamed of
I will let you down
If I am
Only here to watch you as you suffer
I will let you down

The answers we find
Are never what we had in mind
So we make it up as we go along
You don't talk of dreams
Well I won't mention tomorrow
And we won't make those promises that we can't keep

I will never leave you
I will not let you down
I will never leave you
I will not let you down

Keep Away the Bagpipes

He bared his teeth in a scowl. How dare the woman say something so ludicrous about herself. "You are perfect just the way you are and anyone who says otherwise needs to swing from a pike. I am simply unsure this neighbor of yours can appreciate you."

Her shoulders relaxed, and the lines around her lips softened. "You've never even met him, so how do you know what he's like?"

"I need not meet him to know he is a coward. Why has he not beaten down your door and demanded that I leave?"

She rolled her eyes. "He doesn't know you're here."

"Such a thing would not stop me from claiming what is mine."

"That's the most illogical thing I have ever heard. Besides, this is America. We do not beat down doors."

"Over the centuries I have learned that origins matter naught. If a man has not the bravery to fight for his woman, then he is no man at all."

*full credits to Gena Showalter

All the Love in the World

...
Take a breath, just take a seat, you're falling apart and tearing at the seams.

Heaven forbid you end up alone and don't know why
Hold on tight wait for tomorrow, you'll be alright

...
How much longer, how long can you wait, It's like you wanted to go and give yourself away.

*** "Heaven Forbid" by: The Fray

Kill Off the Discolights

*photo credits to: *elderarc

Beyond the door, he heard the shuffle of feet, the angry growls of men. Gray stalked over to Jewel, who still sat in bed, her features devoid of any emotion. He bent down in front of her and reached inside his bag, where he still kept the armband he'd bought for her.
"This is for you," he said.

"Me?" Her eyes grew wide and watery, and her lips trembled as he slid the band up her arm. "You bought it for me in the city? Why?"

The horn sounded yet again.

"Because you wanted it," he rushed out, "and I knew it would look lovely on you." He reached up and swept her hair off her shoulders, then anchored the gold band in place. It gleamed bright, the sapphire as enchanting as her eyes. "And because you are the love of my life."

*** Excerpted from Gena Showalter's "Jewel of Atlantis".

If a guy did that for me - I'd die happy.

What I Wouldn't Give to Provide Updates

This weekend has woken me up several times with heart-wrenching surprises, all in one row. I am astounded, and cannot help but feel like this is some sign for me to force myself to jot down whatever thoughts or ideas I have for After the Fog Clears - just so long as I continue writing.

And here is why:

"HEY THERE! your readers are waiting for you to update ur fic after the fog clears...can't wait to read the updates...please please please...just found ur fic and we are all hooked...please please please update and finish it..."

"YOU NEED TO UPDATE RIGHT NOW! I just started reading this story and I must say, I am in love with it. Penny's character is easy to relate too, plus I enjoy the fact that Kyle is Alex and vice versa. This is bound to be an interestingly entertaining read, so UPDATE!"

"....Can't wait to read more."

And there was two more after that.

I was rendered completely speechless, and shocked. I can't remember the last time I received so many requests to update...and reading all of this really makes me want to cry.

Thanks so much for everyone who is supporting me on this and wants me to go on. I would like to take that to mean I'm not a horrible writer, and I can give something which people find enjoyable and they would willingly want to spend time in reading it.

THE quote for the Sappy-Hearted

"The one person who could break my heart is the only one who should have it." - Taylor Donovan in Julie James' 'Just The Sexiest Man Alive'.

A Scene that Pulls You In and Sink Right In

I recently discovered a new writer - Julie James. She's written less than five books, but the ones published are supposedly gems. I haven't read all obviously, but one bears testimony to this opinion.

I want to write a scene like this. Primarily, because it proves that damn it, I am spot on when it comes to the issues raised below.

J.D. paused. Then he slowly looked over and stared Tyler straight in the eyes. He didn’t say a word. He didn’t have to.

“For how long?” Tyler asked, shocked.

J.D. considered this. “About eight years now, I guess.”

“You’re kidding me.” Tyler’s expression was one of disbelief. “All this time.”

“Pretty much, yes.”

“This whole entire time.”

“What do you need to know, like, the exact moment?” J.D. asked.

“Well, now that you mentioned it, I am kind of curious. Wait, let me guess—from the first moment you met her,” Tyler joked.

“Actually, no, smart-ass.” J.D. paused. “It was the second moment.” I guess you’ll have to find out for yourself, J. D. Jameson . Yep—he had spent years trying to deny it, even to himself, but that sly little look of hers had pretty much done him in for good.

Tyler laughed. “No offense, J.D., but isn’t that a little deep for you?”

“I’ve managed to remain remarkably shallow in pretty much all other aspects of my life. I figure it balances out.”

...

Tyler shifted in his seat. “Have you considered . . .” he trailed off, uncertain whether he should even suggest such an idea.

“Yes.” J.D. had already considered the possibility, even though he couldn’t say it out loud. He raked his fingers through his hair. “I, uh . . . whew.” He took a deep breath. “I really don’t know that I could do that. Maybe if I knew it would make a difference. Maybe.”

“There’s no way of knowing that, J.D.”

“I’ve grasped that, yes.”

Tyler grabbed J.D.’s shoulder. “I wish there was more I could say, buddy. But I think you’re just going to have to ask yourself what you’re willing to risk for a chance to be with her. That’s really what it boils down to, isn’t it?”

J.D. took a moment to consider his friend’s words. “It’s not just the job, you know,” he finally said. “I’d like to at least walk out of there tomorrow with my pride. I’m not exactly good at putting myself out there.”

Tyler laughed. “You don’t say?”

“Do you have any advice that’s actually constructive? Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy trite commentary and rhetorical questions as much as the next guy, but can you at least throw me a bone with something helpful?”

Tyler turned serious. “Listen—I can’t give you any advice on what to do about the thing you don’t know if you can do. Only you can make that decision. But in terms of whether you should put yourself out there, I’ll tell you this: If I was Payton, and I had overheard what you’d said to Ben, I wouldn’t even have bothered to give you the opportunity to explain yourself. I would’ve pulled out my white glove and slapped you across the face and walked away.”

“I just want to clarify—in this scenario, are we also in a Bugs Bunny cartoon?”

“It’s a metaphor, J.D.”

“I would guess so.”

“Fine, I’ll be more blunt: You don’t like to put yourself out there? Well, too bad. Fuck your pride—it’s the only chance you’ve got.”

“You’re asking me to sacrifice the two things that have probably most defined my entire adult life,” J.D. said.

“I’m not asking you to do anything,” Tyler told him. “I’m just telling you what I think has to happen if you want any chance of making things work with her.”

J.D. nodded and fell quiet. There really wasn’t anything else to say on the subject. Like it or not, he knew Tyler was right.

***credits to Julie James, "Practice Makes Perfect".

Give Me Some Orange Juice - It'll Taste Like Apple Anyway

Yeah, I know - the title of this post makes you go 'huh?' I care not to explain right now. Or ever. But, it has an extremely tight connection with the general theme of my writing today. Which, I'm not going to explain in details either - guess ya'll just have to keep reading and thinking about it.

I'll just continue by saying that people, really need to know how to lay off others sometimes.

Like, seriously.

You need to know, what makes people tick. You need to know, what makes people puke. You need to know, what makes people want to look at you. And you need to know, above all else, when to just shut the fuck up.

So listen up! Dude - people aren't always going to be nice. People aren't always going to bother to pay homage to social norms, values and expectations that one be polite with others as we are all zoon politicon. Anybody who convinces you otherwise has some weird funky shit stuck up their ass.

Contrarily, people are most of the time, going to be jerks. Manipulative, insincere, hypocritical, dubious, crude and acrimonious, or just simply downright evil bastards. Newsflash sweetie, it's called LIFE. So for the sakes of all the sorry humans who have to make your acquaintance, wake up.

After a while you see, it gets more than a little tiring and certainly a hell of a lot more than old news to have to carry your flashlight, push the button and light you to the right direction. And in the same line, sooner or later people will run on a fuse which just keeps getting shorter - and then the light goes out. Do you really expect them to have the patience of a saint and try to find more just because you're ninny enough to not understand?

Get real.

Or better yet, drink some beer. Maybe when you're shitfaced the heavens will see fit to bless you with some enlightening. Oh wait, that's Buddha.

Now I'll close this nasty post with a cuteness overload - which I claim no credit for at all.



Via Mr. Andersen at Implodr and credits for posting goes to Meg. Ain't he cute??

Only Stirred and Not Shaken

Do you hear them, dearest? The strains that lulls you in and dusts flirty air on your face
So you’d take a moment and sleep, though only for a minute.
It will seem like an eternity.
For once you close your eyes, your vision and your heart
molds into one entity, and
you will be unable to decipher clearly:
the varied and most diverse set of reasons
but at this point in time none will matter
and I will let you be.

So can you hear them, dearest? Does the magic employed not repel desired results?
I am bewitched by your beauty - you have encased them in your insanity.
You convince that I live in square by square
When I tell you that the edges you believe, they do not exist
but you always make sense out of nonsense
you leave me bereft of all reason
or is it you who is lacking of wit?
I no longer know. And I am no longer sure I wish to know, anymore.

Are you with me, dearest? Have you long run past the line of common grounds?
You were always fond to remind of where you and I stand -
but frequent as of late I recall not whether it was ever truly drawn.
The smoked edges of your barricades have been faint for a while -
and I don’t recall it being there at all.

But worry not, my dear. Am only stirred, not shaken.
Am only jostled a little, but not thrown and no I'm not shaken
Only stirred.

*H.A., 14-15 April,2010.

In My Darkest

I do not see. I do not hear. I do not feel. For all senses is lost to me and all
and any that passes just passes by, unnoticed and it matters not.

All of My Most Favoured

They say there is no greater pleasure for a writer than when he/she comes upon the right word(s) to express their thoughts. I must say I agree. Rachel Gibson must be exceptionally satisfied when she'd finished writing "True Love and Other Disasters." This novel, is full of quirky repertoires and scenes that make you laugh out loud. I thought to share below all of my favourite phrases in this book.

"Your body is going to react a certain way and there is nothing you can do about it. You can't control who you're attracted to. And you can't control who your heart wants." Valerie, to Faith Duffy.

"Your aorta is in your heart. Not your head." Jules pointed out.
"Yeah, I know that numb nuts." Bo set her beer back on the table. "It's called overstating something to make a point."
"It's called stupid."

"A person or charity should give for the right reasons and not for the glory."

"Was that some sort of inappropriate sexist comment?"
"That depends. Were you offended?"

"He was gorgeous, everything good and yummy in one pissed-off package. He was every catch in a girl's breath, every hitch in her heart, and every flutter in her stomach. He didn't need a poster or a billboard or silver screen to make him larger than life. All he had to do was breathe."

Veteran

I needed you to fight like a veteran
but you wouldn't
I needed you to conquer them on my behalf
Be my knight in shining armor, be the one to fend them off
but you wouldn't
so what are you good for?
If silence is all you are willing to give
If quiet disregard is all you're willing to give me
I don't need that

At least now we know for sure that that is all you're fighting for
and now I know you never would be the one
for you are not brave enough
to face them head on with a stance
to make clear where exactly it is that you stand
well now we both know

And if you were a true gentleman
in the plainest sense of the word
you would know without asking
and you'd be able to tell
I won't always say what I mean
I won't always cry before your eyes
but you would know to comfort me
you would know that that is when I am most in need

I needed you to fight like a veteran
Guess you don't have it in you
and I guess I'll keep looking then
for that brave one man who will.

Go Figure

A part of the world screams in agony from brutal hunger. A part of the world has been raped blind and without care. A part of the world faces death-threats daily. A part of the world has no roof they can call home. A part of the world is diseased with sickness so hideous. A part of the world knows not and recognizes not, God. A part of the world is deprived of the luxury of family. A part of the world has not the treasured friend. A part of the world cannot love. A part of the world does not know love. A part of the world observes not the rest of the world. A part of the world knows only high and no low. A part of the world cherishes that which will easily perish.
But I am not that part of the world. And for this single reason, I have no right to complain. I have no right to be upset. I have no right to be a cry-baby. For other parts of the world suffer fates much worse than I. And I am still able to call myself fortunate, for I can still count the blessings with which I have been gifted.

photo by: ~ Majagual

He finds it painful to breathe

He stared at her with his lips just the slightest bit open, his gaze full of uncertainty and confusion. She who continually spins his world around, she who makes him fight for words, she who makes everything in his universe a nonsense. She whom he can't stop thinking of, whose wry grins and smirks fill his every bare moment - who makes it excruciatingly painful to breathe. She who stole his heart with that beautiful, sunny smile.

But that smile is nowhere to be seen on her face right now. When was the last time he had seen it? He can't recall. And he hated not knowing why.

"the break up" by Tazosh

*** random writing off of my head. I may explore this later - don't know yet for now.

My Heart Bleeds Sharp Shards of Splinters

Was browsing through the reviews for the novel I am trying to write - currently in major hiatus - the title is "After the Fog Clears", and I feel like crying in reading them (the reviews). Apparently I seem to be able to write - I think that if I sucked at it no one would bother reading it or leave comments...so I must not suck...or at least, not that much?

There's a link to the site on the right side of this blog - but for your ease I link it again below:
After the Fog Clears

I want to write so bad it hurts. But I'm stuck.

photo by *emilianna12

I Lost Her

Justin Richards of Brighten lyrics to "I Lost Her". His vocals just pull at you...deep. I think if a guy sang this to me, I'd die.

"I Lost Her"

There's a hole in my heart
which you used to get your air
It won't beat again for at least another year
You cut it out yourself, so you won't suffocate in there

Your patience is losing to your fear
I lost her

When collecting angels come
I will rush to find your prayers
They're buried in the closet under the stairs
under boxes of my dreams
and the clutter of my fears
my selfishness is probably why they're here

and I kept digging my own grave
I'm close to 30 miles deep
I can taste the other side and it isn't pretty
and I left my lover in a bottle
and I threw it out to sea
as soon as she left my fingertips I prayed she come back to me
come back to me baby
I lost her

I will never stitch the hole you cut
In hopes that you will return to me
I will work to be a man yes you will see
yes I will work to be your man yes you will see

photo by: wenders69

Wide Open

photo by: *ChristineAmat

On a Sunday, two dreamers,
A small town, a little money,
A gold heart, and a basket of sweets,

...
Could this be true love because it feels so real.


When he said" I love you, girl, "
He caught her with her eyes half-opened,
...

A few years later, up all night,
Making conversations in a car,
Left it running to keep out the cold,

Could we belong here...
Could he be the one ...
Could this be forever because it feels so real.

-
Excerpts from "Wide Open" by Brightwood. 'Tis the tune playing right now as I work...

Keep You Here

Ok this one is one of my own :) (whoa quite a tongue-twister there...lol)

Never say never

Never will I, quit this

While I breathe – still I will,

keep you here, in my heart, in my mind

Never say never

they can call me foolish, or anything they wish

I care not, still I will

Keep you here.

Also a tribute to:

***Casper to Wendy: "Can I keep you?"***

Without You - Justin Richards

Am so in love with Justin Richard's vocals. Below is "Without You" - by Brighten, an incredibly underrated Band who I swear, is the most deserving of a huge break.

---

I can make a mess of a good thing
Try to think it through, think of everything
I'll never get engaged with a mood ring
That's why I need you

I'll never look for love, it will find me
Take me surprise, it will blind me
I never knew it could be right behind me
And that's why I need you
Oh darling, I need you

She don't know what to do
She won't call me
I'll never know everything
But I know you love me
And I don't ever lose to you
I can't do a thing without you
Never ever lose to you
Can't do a thing without you

Well I could fight a war like a veteran
Give you a little more like a gentleman
Learning from before, I'll be a better man
I know I need to

I know I need a heart like the one you have
I know I need a love like my mom and dad's
I'll try to stay cool when things get bad
And that's why I have you
Oh darling, I have you

She don't know what to do
She won't call me
I'll never know everything
But I know you love me
And I don't ever lose to you
I can't do a thing without you
Never ever lose to you
Can't do a thing without--can't do a thing without you

No matter where we are
No matter where we are
You know everything about me

She don't know what to do
She won't call me
I'll never know everything
But I know you love me

And I don't ever lose to you
I can't do a thing without you
Never never lose to you
Can't do a thing without you

Can't do a thing without you

Not until it's Right

and the autumn on the ground
between the traffic and the ordinary sounds
I am thinking signs and seasons
...

watch as lovers pass me by
walking stories whos and hows and whys
...
pondering you

I'll give it time, give it space
...for a spell...


*I'll be waiting for you baby
I'll be holding the darkest night
Love is waiting 'till we're ready
'till its right
Love is waiting.

...
there's no hand that I would rather hold
...I'm singing for strangers about you...
...

***excerpts from "Love is Waiting" by Brooke Fraser - an extremely talented musician and vocalist. Her voice makes you want to slow dance, in the rain, with tears and laughter in your eyes.