Just the Way You Are Perfectly Imperfect

"Sorry, but this is the best I could do," Jake said wryly, holding a cup of punch on each hand. Allyson smiled her tenth smile at him. He'd counted. "Are you cold?"

"No," Al replied as she received the cup from him.

"You are," he said. He put down his cup and shrugged out of his coat.

"There's no need—" Al started to reply.

"Take it," Jake insisted. He took her hand, placed the coat, and walked away to the other side of the terrace. "Look, I'm going to stay right here," he said in a playful tone as he leaned on a pillar. "I won't bite."

"It's a beautiful night," Allyson said, studying him from twenty feet away. It had been ages since she'd last seen Christopher. When Jake returned to their table for a second time, it didn't take long for Chris to figure things out and he had jokingly reprimanded her for making him feel unwanted. How could you let my sister cajole me into going with you when you really intended to dump the prince for the frog?

She didn't know how long she had danced with Jake, didn't even think she'd listened to anything but the steady beating of his heart. If Lou could see her now, she'd be bursting with laughter. Lou had told her not to avoid Jake. But dancing? Now that was way more than expected. But for tonight, Al didn't care.

"Sam's been looking for you," he said in a deep voice.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Thought someone had kidnapped you to keep you away from us," he replied in an amused voice. "She misses you." I miss you.

"I miss her, too," Allyson replied sincerely.

Do you miss me, Beauty?

"Suddenly, she wants a big motorcycle so she could go around town and see everyone else," he said with a smile. "I don't want to disappoint her."

"You couldn't," Al replied without thinking.

He was immensely pleased with her remark but knew that it was far from the truth. "Oh, I have. Many times." He stayed silent for awhile then broke it with a loaded statement. "Just like I've disappointed you. Many times."

"Jake—"

"I like it when you say my name. Do you know that?" he paused, seeing her color with his remark. "And when you blush like that and I could see it from twenty feet? Very appealing."

"Are you teasing me?" Allyson asked laughingly.

He straightened from his leaning position and started walking around the terrace. It was a long time before either of them spoke. "When you walked out of the theater that day, I thought you'd never talk to me again. I was so happy because I'd finally made my peace with my father but it was hard seeing you leave without word." He smiled sadly, and looked like he was reliving the memory. "He was a good father, Al, before…before she left us. Now he's trying. And doing good, I might add. But sometimes, I'm still scared," he said hoarsely. "still scared."

He stopped and leaned lightly on a pillar, seemingly trying to control himself. When he looked up, his eyes were mysteriously shiny. "I'm sorry, Ally."

"Jake," she finally spoke, desperate to keep the light-hearted they'd had all evening. "We've already done this. I've forgiven you. It's over."

"No!" he snapped out, now clutching at the railings. "I hurt you so much. No matter how many times I want to forget about it, I couldn't erase that image of you looking so terribly hurt. I ignored you and treated you horribly. That day," he stopped with a catch in his voice. "That day I was so crazed trying to avoid you that something in me just snapped. I thought she was you. You have to believe me, Allie. I know I ignored you on purpose, I pushed you away. But I would never go that far. I wouldn't do that to you. You have to believe me," he said, almost pleading. "I pushed you away because I knew it would hurt you if you stayed with me. I thought I was protecting you. But I ended up hurting you anyway. Now that I think about it, I think I did it for selfish reasons. I was…afraid that you'd see me for who I was. Trouble with a capital T."

She should have stayed where she was, but she found herself walking towards him, needing to comfort him. "Don't do this to yourself," she whispered achingly, her hands caressing his arm lightly.

Her touch was bittersweet, lulling him temporarily to hopeless illusions. Then he covered her hands with his and slowly turned towards her, almost ready to take the plunge. He watched the expressions dancing across her face. Surprise, anxiety, anticipation. Forgiveness. "How could I have hurt you" he asked tenderly, as he brushed his knuckles brightly over her cheeks, his heart raring to make the final leap, "when I love you so much?"

He silenced any response from her as he covered her lips with his. He felt her go rigid in his arms and knew she was trying to fight him with indifference. He moved his mouth over hers but she remained impassive. Lifting his head to look at her startled emerald eyes, he begged her with his eyes. Please. He kissed her with aching tenderness, pleaded with her to return the kiss. And when she finally gave in to the kiss, he lost all control as he tightened his arms around her, cupping her head to draw her even closer to him. He was like a soldier who had gone on days without water. He couldn't seem to get enough of her. She was sweet and so perfect in his arms.

At the back of her mind, Allyson knew it was wrong. But she could resist him no longer. Not when he was kissing her with such need, as if he couldn't go on without her. So she felt herself giving back, asking him to take what he would, her heart treacherously going against her mind. Suddenly, his words rushed over her and they chilled her like ice. How could I have hurt you…when I love you so much? She broke away abruptly from the kiss, a pounding headache threatening to overwhelm her.

"No," she whispered hoarsely.

"Yes!" he insisted, desperate to keep her in his arms. He was about to bend down for another kiss when she pushed him away hard.

"How could you do this?" she asked, begged in a confused tone. "I can't believe this," she said in disbelief, as she turned away from him. Finding her purse at the nearby chair, she left the terrace without another word, desperate to get as far away from him as possible.

He didn't go after her, knowing it would be fruitless. He had one shot. And he had missed. He sat on the step, stared blankly ahead, and felt like crying.

***

credits to: dream6-20 at http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2028013/24/Just_the_Way_You_Are_Perfectly_Imperfect