On Carson Leith

Honestly, I am not supposed to be blogging right now. No. What I'm supposed to do, is work on my essays for application for graduate studies.

But. What one wants and what one is supposed to do are two completely divergent things which do not co-exist on the same plane my friend.

And hence, why I am writing here. (Even though I'm not supposed to)

So. On Carson Leith.

Who is he? The lead vocalist for Brothers At Sea. The band I so have the hots for right now (which make me like such a lameduck because they'd released their EP like in January this year - or so various sources on the world wide web tells me), as you can evidently tell if you've been following my earlier posts.

Carson is inspiring. Truly. He's younger than I am, having only started college in 2008 (making him as old as my second brother). But, the guy is extremely, and uncannily, thoughtful. Beyond his years, I'd say. One only need to read his blog (or ex-blog, since he's moved to tumblr.com at carsonleith.tumblr.com) which is carsonleith.blogspot.com.

Go there. I dare ya. You won't regret it. Seriously. Although, in passing - I do wonder why he moved to tumblr.com from blogspot....

Now, obviously I sound like a psychotic stalker with how I am apparently dedicating this post to him...essentially. So just in case Carson reads this by some unexplainable and misbegotten chance: Carson dude, no, I am NOT stalking you. And before you get any ideas of suing me, I'm one step ahead of you buddy. I would seriously advise against it, because my current occupation just so happens to be lawyering :D

I hate losing cases, so I'll make sure that I'm the one who wins. (blagh, who am I kidding.)

Anyway, back to Carson. Reading his blog, has inspired me in so many different ways. To my delight, apart from sharing my addiction to coffee, Carson shares my love of reading and writers/poets such as Hemingway and Pablo Neruda (see my previous post titled "I do not love you"). I don't know many guys around here like that, so you'll understand why I'm all gaga over finding this out.

He is also, apparently, religious. Granted, we do not share the same faith - in fact, we cannot be more diametrically opposed.

But, that is not to say I don't get what he's saying when he talks of religion. Which brings me to believe, that one need not share the same faith to understand faith itself.

I can go on to our similar tastes in music, but I won't because I'm already freaking myself out enough with this post...so I'm restraining myself and will stop here.

With a side note: in a different universe, in a different time, in a different setting and in the same spot, Carson would be my perfect Garage Band King.

So all I gotta do now is, find one that fits in my current lifetime.

If you see him, contact me do.

***Disclaimer: the photo here does NOT belong to me. I got it off their facebook page and am not using it for profit. Carson's the one in the middle.

For Being Brave

For being brave...it don't come easy. No it don't.
Bleeding out still I am, seeping out from the blue lines
and these eyes, they are incapable of blinking for more
My laugh lines have caked into stone
I'm sure this is what you're wanting now.

Isn't it?

You tell me, love. You tell me.
Just, for once, pretend no one's there
and only us two here stands
and that the dead grass are green meadows
would that make it any easier
for you to speak?

Being brave, it don't come easy, no.
And my silence works the way pictures do.
I ain't saying anything, but I couldn't have put it better.
Aren't you getting me at all?
If I love you at all, everything should be crystal clear to you.

Oh quit being so brave love. I'll sweeten up some of your hurting, if only you let me.
But those warm times have long disappeared - neither of us are the same persons we used to know.
I'm paying the price of being brave, or keeping pride. Label it how you want.
I want to take the easy way out, this time.
I'm done hurting inside, just as I'm done laughing out non-laughter.
Let's not be so brave now. The price is altogether too high.
For while I am more than halfway there, you have yet to move.
You have yet to move.

And I, I'm done with my falling. Falling over you and over my head.
This has evolved to being entirely overrated, for both our sakes.
Stay brave, love. Will it. Want it. Until it chokes you up, that you can't help move.
Maybe then you'll fall into me.
Maybe then I can brave myself again.

First draft: November 21st, 2010. Revised: November 22nd, 2010. By: Hanna.A.

*this poem..or potential set of lyrics is inspired by Brothers At Sea's "For Being Brave". I would suggest however, that you read the above while listening to "We're Alive" by Brothers At Sea or their "This Time, I Swear I Mean It". It sets the background better methinks. :p

I can't wax lyrical enough about this band. They're soo...talented. Bridgingtheverses.com describes them as The Fray meets Jimmy Eat World. In some ways, I think that's true. But I would say they are more Jimmy Eat World and Brightwood.

***photo disclaimer: the photo ain't mine and I ain't using it for profit. I got it off Brothers At Sea's FB.