Motivation is You

"When I'm looking for a new motivation, I'm looking for you." - Jason Poe.

Could he possible be a descendant of another famous Poe? As in Edgar Allan Poe?? Anyhow, I'm digging his music.

Ty and Jase

"Why do you get like that, Ty? Why?" Jason asked his twin harshly, furious with the most recent stunt Tyson had pulled. Again. After over again. It's like begging for a death wish, he thought. Playing games with the wires of destiny the way he does.

Carefully inhaling his Cuban cigar, Tyson gave him a cursory glance before turning his gaze outside, past the the floor-to-ceiling panelled windows to the beautiful english garden their mother had designed. Their deceased mother. Thanks to a jug of vicodin and some kegfuls of irish whisky. And let's not forget the stress pills - 'happy pills' - as their youngest brother Aaron likes to call it.

Naive kid.

"Well? Aren't you going to bother answering me?" Jason barked, eyebrows drawn in in anger.

Tyson switched his gaze to the ends of his cigar, twirling the insanely expensive commodity between his fingers slowly, marvelling the mix of dead colours. Dead, much like people he knew. Even Jase, perhaps? He smirked. Not literally. He took a long torturous breath before responding.

"What do you want me to say, Jase? You've been able to second-guess me since before we could both walk. What's stopping you now?" He said in a bored voice, taking another sweep of his cigar as he looked out the window again. He didn't see Jason looking at him incredulously.

Jason couldn't remember the last time he felt so out of place. He could hardly believe this was the same person who taught him how to shoot the basketball so that it landed always into the hoop when they were six. What the hell had happened to his brother? "What's stopping me? What's stopping me?" he shrieked.

In that moment, the insanity of what was happening struck him hard. And he laughed. Uproariously. Bitterly, until Tyson finally registered that his perpetually-composed brother, had seemed to crack.

"You know what you are Ty? You're like Two-Face in Batman. Manipulative as fuck. And worse, you like it," Jason spat bitterly.

*** unfinished...we'll see where this goes I guess.

About Life

Some people have a pretty bended view of life.
I talk not of life as in the ordinary definition which is the animate existence or period of animate existence of an individual.

But life - in the sense of what truly matters, which would make one happy, content and well-rested.
In the sense of - finding that heaven on earth. As in, you are my life.

Because face it, you only get to live once, right? What's the point if you don't get to feel like you're in paradise when you're here. Once your breath stops - that is it.

I know that many put different values and marks on all the components that makes life what it is.
I know that I've been cursed by many for choosing my path.
I know that many call me stupid, idiotic, foolish, dumb, and just down-right...meaningless.

And I have been called many things. A bitch. Heartless. Evil. Weirdo. Fucked-up. Black-hearted. All sorts of things.

I have been back-stabbed, one too many times.
I have been heartbroken - by those I loved and friends, and those I had thought and considered to be very good friends of mine. And cried my heart out for the treachery.

In fact, I have recently been brokenhearted once more.

Each and every one of those beautiful mistakes, have made me who I am.

So if they think that they matter to me - they are sorely, deeply, and greatly mistaken.

They may have my attention, but they have not my care. And call me what you like - I don't give out second chances. Once you're out - there is no way in hell you're getting back in.

And I get back to my first point about life. It's too short for you to waste thinking, pondering, considering about things that don't even care about you. That don't even consider how you would feel. How you would see things. How would you approach a certain issue, or non-issue, as it appears to be.

Dedicate your life only to those who has your back - when you're one step from dying.
And to those, who would take the knife for you.

So people, people can curse me all they want. Call me whatever you want. Treat me however you wish to. You have free will. And you are free to think and feel.

But, so am I.

Now the question is, do I have a bended view of life?

I like to think that I'm pretty simple to figure out. I really don't ask for much. A little honesty, even when I know I don't want to hear it. But most importantly, loyalty.

I place not all the gold and pearls in the world on coca-cola-like wealth. One that tastes so good as it passes down your throat, but kills your limbs slowly on the inside.
I place not all the love in the world on insipid objects that many think are worth so much - because they will not make me happy in the end.

And it truly saddens me to know, that there are those who do not get it.

But that is life.

Are you seeing clearly?

I came across this post while stumbling, and found it to be one of the most insightful things I've ever had the chance to read.

The post, which consist of 10 subjects, essentially talks of every day heroes, and explains exactly what they did or what had happened. This particular subject was Aron Ralston, who apparently had cut off his own arm in order to survive. Why he ended up in the predicament of having to cut off one of his body parts in the first place was because he'd been climbing/hiking or something, and some time during which, he got stuck by a boulder. After days without water and food, Aron was desperate and thus, decided to cut off his arm.

When I read the post, I had agreed with what the writer said about Aron - that he was brave, and that he is perhaps one of the few true survivors among humans. How many of us would dare to make that choice when faced with extreme situations like that? I doubt I would do that to survive.

But as I read the comments to the post, one struck me in particular. This guy, said this:

"This man is a moron, and i kinda wish he died so we wouldnt have to deal with his stupidity any further, or better yet he had no knife so he could chew his arm off. By dying we could have still used him as an example of how not to have fun in the wilderness. 1) You should never go out alone, A pair is OK but not ideal because if anything happens it leaves the person in trouble while the other goes for help, Three or more people is ideal. 2) Never go out without telling someone where your going (which includes your route) when you are leaving and when you should be returning/ hear from them again. I know little kids who know better than this fucktard (albeit they are cubscouts). Be Prepared."


Weird as it may make me look, I actually laughed out loud. Because after I read this, I found myself agreeing with his opinion for the most part. I mean - the guy's logic makes sense.

On the other hand though, this post serves as a perfect example of how people will always have different views on everything. The one who wrote the post, wrote from the viewpoint of survival - of having the braveness to act against desperate odds. The one who commented, wrote from a more objective, logical viewpoint of being sensible. And if you think about it, the guy who commented would seem to be the more correct - since he raises valid points which we should take notice of, and which should actually be glaringly obvious for 'survival' purposes.

So I give kudos to the guy who commented. Had I not scrolled down the page, I would have missed the point.