Fragile

This heart is fragile and weak and it quavers with

every little break you crack into it with

every doubt and every question

why are you questioning

why are you doubting me.

This heart is flooded full over the brim with

rivers of ache and pain and tears that glitters

if I swallow I will taste bitter and salt

there is no doubt of it

there is no questioning it.

Breathe

so they tell me to do for a while now

but I've been having a hard time to just

breathe

I keep choking and spluttering

every word comes out a staggering stutter

and I

can't even manage one sentence

don't press me for a paragraph

no language would express fully

what this feels like

to me

and I

desperately need to just breathe.

This heart is fragile like antique china

that's been duct-taped all over with the strongest of bands

to keep it all together and not fall

apart,

but it's falling apart

and I'm falling apart

because I'm fragile.

The Unnatural

It's only natural that you would feel
the world that you see is a syndicate
and the box in which you live in, an sphere
But it's only unnatural that I would feel
that the waters I swim in is clean
my eyes cannot see into the light
the curtains are all that is in sight
and they would not budge

It's only natural that you would feel
that it is impossible to heal
the wounds wrought too deep to cover
and sewing back erases not the marks
But unnatural it is that I
would be incapable of knowing
or telling the differences that lie
the paths that you and I walk in
have broken up in opposing directions
and I can't hold your hand now
and you can't see my tears now

It's only natural that here
is where we etch history
I've sung out anthems in glory
and you've fought wars in all forms of bravery
but a closer look inside
reveals blood
we're both bleeding from our sacrifices
and while pain is not unnatural
the attempt to believe it's real and happening
will always be unnatural to me

***H.Az

I Do Not Love You

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.

I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;

so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I do not exist, nor you,

so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,

so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

*My favourite poem of all time, by Pablo Neruda.