Wherever life takes me vs. My take on life

I believe this is a common question among all of us. One that each and every human being ponders about once in a while, if not all the time. It relates to something which I've mentioned briefly before in my previous blogs: why we exist on earth.

Of course, this is going to be an endless debate and I'm probably never going to be satisfied with whatever answer is given to me, but I thought to lay down what has occurred to my mind on the subject for the sake of satisfying my hunger to type. (that's another story to be saved for another time)

On to the ideas then. First, about how we came to be.

Darwin.

He is of the opinion that everything in life undergoes a process called 'evolution', where every living being on this planet today, exists because they have survived the 'battle of the fittest'. I happen to disagree completely on his idea of evolution, because I don't think it makes a whit of sense. If indeed we are modern species that come from monkeys, my question is: why would they still exist if the modern ones are supposedly the ones who have survived?

In addition, my brain cannot give in to the idea that somewhere, some point in time, there was a 'big bang' that started the whole life cycle.

A friend of mine once said that this is all a circle, but I said to him: OK, so it's a circle. But if we liken that to drawing a circle on a piece of paper, one first has to press the tip of the pen/pencil on the paper, then draw the circle. The circle, I said, do not simply appear out of thin air from simple wanting or extraordinary desire that magically sprung the circle to life. This is why I believe that there has to be something big out there that started all this. And my tiny and limited capacity of brain could only settle with one answer: that there is a God out there.

The next question, is about why we are here.

Some say God put us here to worship Him, some say that we are all only players in a chess game, some of us born as bishops, kings, others only mere pawns, with God out there playing referee or watch, and some say this is a footie match where the outcome has been decided and all that we do have been arranged before and we only go with what has been foretold.

On that point though, it strikes me how true Darwin's notion on 'survival of the fittest' is.

Everyday, every moment, we battle to survive. For those working in offices, its either a matter of working yourself to death with the load being dumped on you, or quitting, or if you happen to be one of the lucky ones who is employed in a field that suits your interests, you simply enjoy it as it goes. But if we turn the pages carefully, it's a deeper and bigger battle than that. We battle, when we go to the shops, finding the items that we want and debating with ourselves on the importance of that item to our continuous functioning for the rest of the week or to have momentary satisfaction of either possessing that item or simple satisfaction of impulsive cravings. We battle, when we wake up, between hitting the 'snooze' button on our alarm clocks and rising up and shine to greet the day. We battle, when we fight with our friends, between having all our concerns pushed forward and their thoughts pushed back either because we think it's slightly or untrue or happens to be the very thing we don't want and don't need to hear, and being wiser and understanding for our own sake. We battle, when we are born lowly and have to strenuously strive to reach up to the stars. And even if we may think, or like to think that those born with a silver-spoon out their mouth don't battle for a single thing in life, they too battle, with how to deal with all the attention they have and find what it is they want out of life. Because at the end of the day, they will find that money is not enough.

Relating this with the title of this blog: wherever life takes me vs. my take on life, is it true then, that we are only puppets whose strings are in the hands of God? Do we not get a say in what to do or what to have or want? Having seen the battles that we face, and keeping in mind that we are, after all, endowed with brains which has to be of value somewhat, it looks like it's a balanced battle between the two options where none will come out as the winner save for a few occasions where one happens to overtake the other.

I think it's true that we are all given choices in life. That life is what you make of it, that you are what you make of yourself, that everything you see, hear, feel, are direct results of your choices. At the same time however, I also think it's true that where you have tried, and where you have thought over the things that you're battling with at the current time, you see a dead-end and can only act upon the only plausible conclusion you can find. And that, is where there isn't a choice to choose, where you no longer have a part in deciding what you want, where wherever you end up is no longer exploratory. So, wherever life takes me vs. my take on life? I guess we'll have to see.

And this is what I've come to settle with.