Fall down and Get Back Up Again

This post is long overdue. I had planned to blog about this as soon as I came back from my trip to Hong Kong in the second week of March, but things caught up with me. Naturally, I put this to the side, pended it, was mad because I couldn't write about it soon enough, and 'tis now nearing the end of the month already and I've just had the time to spare myself a little space to breathe and write.

If you are a frequent reader of this blog - which I doubt anyone is since not many know of this bit of virtual space I use to vent, but if you do happen to stumble upon it, you're no stranger to the fact that I often write about life. Specifically - I reflect on the on-goings in my life.

Approximately six months ago, I was asked to coach a team. This team, as it will participate in an event where the participants in each team is limited to the most minimum of people, would only consist of three people. In other words, I would not be coaching a large team like usual, but a rather medium sized one, and in the midst of my work, should be manageable.
So it was on this basis that I took up the job.

We held out the internal selection at the Faculty to choose the students who will make up the team. And three were selected, all from different batches. Two boys, and a girl.
At first sight, they do not make up what you would by instinct view as a formidable team. One of them, not only has the appearance of veritable youth but certainly employs the characteristics that is often seen from one still so young. One other upon first impression would seem to be all serious and capable, hiding his true nature as that of a laid-back person and very much capable of mischievous pranks. And the girl, sophisticated looking but seems to be unsure of herself when talking.

Certainly a unique team these three people make.

I always made it a point that when I coach, my ultimate goal is not to win, or be number one, or anything ambitious in such likes. My goal is always, for nothing but the students in the team, to learn. And that they would enjoy learning with each other, learning what they learn in the period of six months, that they feel and think of it as a fun activity, pressure-less, and most importantly, that they actually like what they do.

The reason is because I've been in their position - all I wanted, was to learn, and what I received instead, was pressure. I hated it. Now I am not saying that pressure was all that I received, I certainly did learn a lot also from the process, but I have always felt that, if I could feel like it is fun, it would make the entire thing more bearable.

So I made a vow to myself, that if I ever do find myself in the position of a coach, that I would not, that I would never, make it a point to be ambitious. It throws everything off-balance.
It doesn't matter if we don't get a standing ovation. Or loud applauds. Because at the end of the day, the price of that is too much to bear. And I don't wish that on anyone that I coach.

If we do manage, by some lucky shot or blessing from God to receive a most treasured gift, then we will be thankful, and praise Him for thinking us worthy enough to receive it.

Six months past then, I set out in yet another coaching venture.

I had absolutely no idea what to expect. I didn't know any of these people. They seem to be of a different sort than I usually coach, and as usual, I was hesitant of myself on what to do. In the end, I decided to go by my gut instincts, and just to go with it.

It turns out, that I was the one being coached by these three very remarkable people. :)

I honestly feel, that at the end of this six months, I am the one who has learned a lot, and the one grateful for the gift of time of being with them.

Certainly we had our ups and downs - times where I'd feel so frustrated and at my wit's ends, not knowing how else to deliver my message to some or all of them. Times where I thought I was doing such a lacking job on all three of them because of my inability to balance my time well in the middle of everything else I do, including work. Times where mistakes were repeated and not learned. So I am not saying that I had a perfect time.

But what I did have, is indubitably, the best of times.

One of them taught me not be so serious all the time, and challenged me to see the proper weight of everything. That it is OK to be mad. And to relax.

Another made me realize that I need to be more watchful of myself, and to not forget to reflect, on promises that I made. Because I may not always deliver, even though I badly wanted to.

And another made me learn to always place common sense in its rightful place. That everything is only everything, because I make it so. That everything can become nothing, if I make it so. And he made me better see the black in the white, and likewise, the white that is in all the black.

The night that the journey finally ended for us, I asked them all to evaluate and reflect back - and to give me feedback, so I know that if I ever do take this position up again (which I doubt very much I'd be able to do), I know what not to do and what to do.

I am most thankful, to know that they had grown to love the team, and each other. That they had truly enjoyed being with the team, that we can all look back on this with laughter and tears in our eyes, because of the treasured memories. The fact that they were not working very well in the beginning as a team, where one of them hated the other and that that feeling was mutual, but they were able to look beyond themselves and evolved into - in my belief - is the best team I have ever seen.

There were those that looked down upon them of course. Those who believed they 'sucked'. And other thoughts.

Whether those beliefs and thoughts are correct, would again depend on one's own definition of what makes up a good team. The answers would vary.

But if anyone asks me, I would say - if there is one team you should learn from, it is them.

*dedicated to three unique, gifted and special individuals: Nic, Gan, and Marsh.