Jeremiad

Life is about choices. right? or at least, that's how I've always viewed it. Between sinful offerings and daiphanous thinkings, and not to forget impulsive cravings, the Big Guy sure did make the world a difficult place to live in.
am I complaining?
you could say that. or, you can choose a more preferable alternative (to me anyways), and say that I'm being critical and thoughtful.
I, however, will choose neither excuse, silly, pitiful and unjust as they are, and go with the simple truth: I, down to my small and insignificant toes, am lost and am looking in every angle possibly viewed through 360 degrees rotation to justify my present state, which is sad, lazy, and oh, very, very, ugly.
I've got what looks like a large pile of quixotic wantings, unwavering from their limbo since I've deigned to keep myself like this.
yes, I know I shouldn't. yes, I know it's bordering shameless. yes, I don't need to be told that I need to get my huge butt off my bed and rise and shine to greet the day instead of lazying about abed.
but my knowing all of this doesn't make it any easier for me to do just that: getting up.

now, even though I've just described this in a way that I'm sure is visual to you, rest assured what I mean to say is not so much visual than being hypothetic.
I need to get up, as in, get my thoughts composed, emotions controlled, and to quit lollying about like some waddling dolphins in the arctics.
I've been doing a lot of thinking, and have arrived at a somewhat palpable conclusion that I simply enjoy being in this state.
I don't mean that I'm thrilled with the fact that I can't graduate in four years as is the normal length of time of studying for law students (undergraduates) in my country, hell no. if anything, the thought positively itches me, and makes me want to wail, pathetic as it may sound.
no, I hate it.
on the other hand however, my life, which, even if I do not yet have it sorted out completely, had, invisible latitude and longitude lines drawn on it, marking the main things I would like to achieve in what probably is going to be a short life.
does it mean I'm sorted out then?
no. because those lines, had, as of a couple of weeks ago, been tarnished by close-to-snide comments, and lucid doubts, upon my goals. so I've gone back many a step, retreated, and question those temporary decisions of mine.

around here then, the subject of this particular blog should be cleared well up. I am, pondering what seems to be imponderables, dwellings on 'mights' and 'probably nots', and am drawing to a close to biting off quite a bit more than I can chew.
"easy does it," people always say.

as you should already gather by now, I've got more than a couple of things to say to that.